Well, we are officially a month into our parenthood journey and I thought I’d give a small update: We are alive! I’m not sure I’d go so far as to say we are thriving, but I do see how that can be possible a little further down the road.
It still feels strange to call myself a mother. That I have now entered into the official chapter of this life called “motherhood,” feels surreal. It’s exactly like everyone said it would be: exhausting, overwhelming, relentless, yet full of indescribable love, strength, and joy. It’s a deep dive into a world of paradoxes.
It’s the easiest and the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It’s easy because her needs are so simple right now. She either needs to sleep, to feed, or a diaper change. Throw in some daily tummy time and a bath once or twice a week and you’ve got yourself a healthy baby.
It’s the hardest thing because her only way of communicating is by crying. And her cries wait for no man – or machine. If she is hungry and a bottle needs to be put together, or if the Baby Brezza (basically a baby Keurig and literal lifesaver) is out of water or needs a part cleaned, she is not going to stop crying to wait on you to get your shit together. So then you both end up crying until you’re able to gather all the pieces needed for a feeding and finally put that bottle in her mouth. But once the bottle is in, it’s like an Off switch – she gets quiet and all is right in her world. Until she needs something else, which will probably happen sooner rather than later.
For me, being newly postpartum brings with it an entirely new set of issues the baby couldn’t care less about. But thankfully my husband does. In the midst of all this chaos he has been my hero. He lets me snap at him when I’m stressed and cry when I’m overwhelmed. He gives me mental health days when he can tell that I need them, and he has done his fair share of night shifts. He knows how to change diapers, make bottles, and packs a mean swaddle. He helps me find the humor in all of this and brings me back when I hit my limits.
I’m convinced he’s the reason I haven’t fallen victim to postpartum depression so far. I know it’s still early, but as long as my transition back to work in October goes smoothly, I think I will be out of the woods.
One thing I have learned – and am so glad I waited for – is the importance of finding a good partner. It is the #1 crucial element that makes all of this work. I still have no idea how we will add another kid to this mix – we feel like we are barely keeping our heads above water as it is – but one thing at a time, right? Never say never. 💪🏻
Anyway, if you are interested or curious, I wanted to address on the blog why Matthew and I are choosing not to show any distinguishing features of Ruby’s face on social media. It was a big decision that we didn’t take lightly, and there are several reasons for it.
One reason is that we don’t want Ruby on any social media until she is 16. We realize this may be a pipe dream, but it’s our goal and we are going to try to come as close to that as possible. Neither of us had social media until we were 16 and that was long before we knew what it would become. Now that we know better, we want to do better. Our goal is to instill some values in Ruby before letting her loose on the internet. We want to make sure she knows what she’ll be getting into.
We don’t think it’s fair of us to ask her not to be on socials while also posting her on our accounts. We want her to have the agency, when the time is right, to make that choice for herself without seeming hypocritical.
Also, did you know that teenage girls are some of the most intimidating groups of people in the world? They can be vicious bullies, and I thank the Good Lord every single day that the social media we have today did not exist when I was a teenager. I’d have been cooked. If we can avoid online bullying by waiting to allow her on socials, our job as parents will be that much easier.
Another reason we’re not showing her face is because of AI technology. I work in social media/digital marketing. Through my work I’ve seen a bit of what AI is capable of, and frankly, it kind of scares me. I don’t like what I’m seeing about it taking peoples likenesses, and I’d like to try to shield her from that as long as possible. The internet is becoming a scary space when it comes to kids.
All of this, and the fact that Matt has been watching Law and Order: SVU for a year and a half only solidifies our resolve.
Like I said, this might be a pipe dream and we reserve the right to change our minds down the road, but for now, that’s the plan.
Thanks again for reading. These always turn out longer than I expect them to, so I appreciate your time.
💕
mypantsaretooshort 
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