“You must become unshakable in the belief that you are worthy of a big life.”
– Kristin Lohr
It’s been a while since I’ve posted an update, but that’s just because I’ve been busy living my life, kicking ass at work, and aligning myself today with the person I want to be tomorrow.
The past year has taught me so much about myself and how I see the world.
Over the past year, I’ve become much more spiritual than any organized religion has ever taught or inspired in me.
I still believe in God – absolutely, I do. But I’m not sure exactly what that looks like anymore – at this point I think the concept of “God” could be measured anywhere from the all-powerful being we are taught about in church all the way down to those feel-good vibes you get when you start focusing on the positives. Either way, I see His (Her??) presence in my life every single day. And call me crazy if you want, but I also believe he’s not the one orchestrating the direction it’s taking. That’s all me. In the same vein that I don’t believe he gave me cancer, I also don’t believe he has that much influence – or interest, really – in the day to day activities of my life. That’s on me as well because surely God, no matter what that looks like, has better things to do than listening in on my one-sided conversations with Warren and checking out what I’m eating for lunch…
It didn’t happen overnight but I’ve noticed a significant change in my mindset over the past 6 months. As my big boss, Audrey, put it the other day: I feel as if I’m blossoming into the person I was always meant to become. (She really is awesome.)
Lately, I’ve been trying this new thing where I simply just ask for things I never would have had the courage to ask for in the past. And I have to say that it’s working.
Who am I asking, you may wonder? Well, I’m not really sure – I’ve been calling it the “Universe” just to be sure I cover all my bases. I form a thought in my head and make it a daily recurring mantra. Some call this manifesting. So, I’ve compiled a short list of the things I’d like to manifest over the next few years. (I’m excited about this because a year ago, I wouldn’t have known where to begin – or even had the courage to believe that such good things could come my way, and now I’m just bald-faced asking for them “in front of God and everybody”, as my mama likes to say.) So here goes:
I want to double my salary in two years. Will it actually happen? Maybe not, but I’m asking for it anyway.
I want to buy a bigger house – with a yard!! – in five years. Will it happen? Maybe not, but I’m putting the vibes “out there” anyway.
I want the pilot program I’m developing at work that donates entire classrooms of agile furniture to deserving teachers in low-income public schools to be successful and live up to all of my wildest dreams and expectations for it.
I want to develop relationships with the students in those low-income school districts and try to show them that someone other than their teachers [and parents] cares about them and their future. They are our future, after all.
I want to one day be in a position to give back to the public school system that educated me in Mississippi because I know there are just as many deserving teachers and students there as there are right here in Charlotte.
I want to see – and be instrumental in making – my company double in size and triple in revenue before I retire.
I want to learn German so that I can better communicate with my German coworkers (yes, I know they speak English, but why not meet them halfway?).
I want to meet someone who is as passionate about what he does for a living as I have become. Someone I can bounce ideas off of and who gets as excited about them as I do (and vice versa).
A year ago I was staring the biggest surgery I will probably ever have in the face. I was nervous as hell but I made it to the other side just fine. It took a while, and I’m still pretty insecure about the scarring, but in all fairness to what they’ve been through, my new boobs really do look better than I could have imagined.
A year ago I’d only ever flown coach, but I’ve got my first first-class flight booked a little over two weeks from today.
A year ago I didn’t know if I’d ever get the time or money to book another trip overseas, but I’m going to Germany and France in September and dragging my parents along for the ride.
A year ago I was searching high and low for a jumpsuit that looked good on me, and today I own 3 of them. (I realize this isn’t quite on par with the rest of this list, but I think the women reading this will recognize it for the great accomplishment that it really is.)
A year ago I didn’t have a plan for my life, but today I do.
A year ago I wasn’t asking and I wasn’t receiving.
But today I believe that my life is meant for more than just working, eating, sleeping and repeating.
I’ve found my passion, and from now until the day I die, I’ll be showing my old life and my old self what I’m truly capable of.
I’ve got that #BigFoobEnergy and I’m not afraid to use it.
Thank you, cancer, for sending me this big, wonderful life you tried so hard to crush. I’ll be happy to return the favor and then some.
Today I know how to ask and I know how to receive. And I think you should try it too. Especially if you’re struggling – you’re the one who needs it the most. You’re the one who deserves it the most. If I can do it, I promise you can too.
Go and chase that life you’ve always dreamed of.
How you ask? It’s really pretty simple:
- Recognize what makes you happy
- Do what makes you happy
- Stop doing what makes you UN-happy
That’s it. In a nutshell.
I will always believe that you get back what you put “out there”. If you believe the world is out to get you, that’s what the Universe will give back to you. If you believe the world is a beautiful place and good things DO, in fact, still happen, then that is the kind of world in which you will live.
Ask and you shall receive.
Demand more and you will get more.
But it won’t fall into your lap – you have to put in the work first.
Good luck! XO