Operation KK: A Happy Ending

So, the day one of the kittens puked up live worms in my bathroom was the day I decided it was officially their last night in my apartment. After many phone calls to animal shelters, getting rejected (because they are ‘full’), the shedding of tears, and pulling of hairs, I decided to take them to Animal Control the next morning. One of the shelters I called said Animal Control would take anything you brought in, but they would put them down if they didn’t have room for them. This was not an ideal situation because, despite my complaining straight-up bitching about them, I still loved them and wanted them to find good homes. However, the scratches on my arms and the worms on my floor were what kept bringing me back to one conclusion: They had to go.

Since Animal Control didn’t open until 10am, I took the next morning off work, woke up early and began preparing myself for the internal battle ahead. I cried in the shower while watching them play around like it was any other normal day. Poor babies had no idea what was in store for them. I cried while drying my hair. I cried while getting dressed. I cried while packing up their things to donate to the shelter with them. I even cried while I tried to force myself to eat something (sometimes the best diet is a good, solid heartache). And, of course, I was ready to go 30 minutes before I needed to leave, so I sat on my bed and cried some more. 

Then I got a text from my friend, Aeri. “How does it feel?” she said. “Invigorating?”

“I haven’t taken them yet. They open at 10,” I responded.

Then she called me. She wanted me to bring them by her work because she had a guy, Wade, who might want one.

Whoa, what? This can’t be happening. I refuse to let myself believe….no….too good to be true.

Anyway, I packed up the kittens in Poe’s travel cage (the black/mean one freaking out only minimally) and headed off to the airport where Aeri works.

While we were in the car, the kittens listened intently as I told them this was their last chance and that they had to be on their best behaviors. No clawing or hissing. No scratching or running away. NO funny business. Although I knew it was probably a useless conversation, I figured I’d give it a try nonetheless.

When we got there, I carried the kittens, cage and all into a very formal-looking office place. I felt very out of place in my workout clothes (this being Workout Wednesday and all) carrying the cage of worm-infested kittens, while people walked by in their shiny stilettos staring at us. But it didn’t matter. I was on a mission. The kittens needed to not die today.

We finally got to Wade’s desk and I put the cage down on the couch in front of it. And people began swarming over to us like bees to honey. To my utter terror, they immediately open the cage and start grabbing kittens. Oh. My. God. Someone’s gonna get a face lift today. These kittens had only ever seen maybe 5 people in their entire short lives and now there were hands grabbing at them from all directions. They’re going to freak out any second. Please, please, please have listened to me in the car!

To my great surprise, even the black one seemed to just check out completely. He didn’t even try to get away when Frank grabbed him. He just started shivering and nervous-purring. These people just think he’s nervous. They have no idea what they’re in store for if they take him home. But once they do, it’s out of my hands… Okay, maybe this could work…

Anyway, after the cuteness wore off, people went back to their desks one by one while Wade continued to hold each of the kittens and Aeri continued to sell, sell, sell them. (“Yay, kittens! You might not have to go to your deaths today!”) I began to let myself believe that maybe we could convince him to take all three… And as soon as Wade pulled out his phone and showed us a picture of his cat and proceeded to tell us he lived in a brand new house all by himself with just this one cat, I knew it was a done deal.

As soon as he said he’d officially take all of them, (YES!) I ran down to my car and brought up all the stuff I’d packed up to donate to Animal Control and gave it to him. He was impressed with how much there was and solidified his decision.

Before he could change his mind, I left for work.

Later that evening, Aeri told me Galena, the Ukranian woman they work with, and Frank both wanted the black one, but Galena beat him to it and took him home. The mean one. Uh oh. This happy ending may not end so happily quite yet. But I figured if she ended up not wanting him, I could take him back. One kitten wouldn’t kill me. Three would.

The next day Galena said he meowed for his brothers all night. This didn’t surprise me one bit because when I opened the bathroom door to let them out to play, he’d sit at the open door and meow chirp for them to come back. We called him the Tyrant/Dictator/Attention Whore. However, when Galena asked Wade if she could have one of his brothers so the Tyrant could have one to boss around, Wade refused! He said they couldn’t be separated!

WTF?!

I couldn’t pay someone to take these kittens off my hands, yet as they’re literally being driven to their deaths, people end up fighting over them!